3. Technology and Laziness Seamlessly Converge: During the week, I work roughly 60 to 80 hours and that doesn’t even include the extra work I take on during the weekend. So when I have a chance to be lazy, trust me, I’m the first one to step up and relax a little bit. There’s an old saying, “Sit if you can avoid standing and lie down if you can avoid sitting.” I can’t think of anyone this would be more apropos to that myself. So when Microsoft showed off the increased seamlessness that Kinect offered in navigating the dashboard, movies and ESPN functionalities, I was the first one to sit up, mouth agape in amazement. Never before had something allowed me to be so lazy. If it works like Microsoft prescribes it to and can detect me on the couch, I will be nesting in from of my Kinect camera like a bear hibernating during the winter. Not because deep down I think doing just enough to get by is okay, but because I work my ass off and if shelling out a bit of money will ultimately allow me to be even more comfortable when relaxing than I was previous, all the freaking better.
2. Peter Molyneux's Milo & Me: Our society has come a long way, but there is always going to be an odd discomfort that comes from a machine, digital or physical, displaying human characteristics. This isn’t because we as a race are afraid of technological advancement so much as films like Terminator and 2001 have instilled us with the belief that the minute we grow complacent with our machines, they’re going to f-king off us. Milo was shown last year at E3 and made my jaw drop in amazement. How could something so cool exist? Sure, he has a small violent stream, which includes killing a digital fly. But this is the attempt to create an interactive personality within the confines of a television and so far it looks to be pretty damn awesome. As all the functions haven’t been shown yet, there is still a chance we may never see Milo, but that would just be disappointing – if not a vicious tease on the part of Microsoft and Lionhead. And really, what would you rather do: Spend $150 to have a Kinect and Milo or just have a kid? Your call.
1. Hanging out with Skittles in Kinectimals: I hate to admit how self-serving this is, but I really do want a baby tiger jumping around the monitor that’s hooked up next to my computer screen in my office. Even if all it is doing is sleeping while I’m doing other work, I think that would be so cool. Because I know that there is absolutely no chance that suburban Illinois will never be cool with me owning a baby tiger for no other reason that eventually it’ll grow up into a big tiger. Then the neighbors will call, complain and I’ll have to send my tiger to Africa, my fictitious vineyard in France or just move to some country that is friendlier to the oversized felines, like Canada. On the other hand, looking at the cost of tigers, vineyards and the country of Canada, I might just be happier occasionally petting my digital pet and calling it a day. Yes, I know it’s the advanced version of a Tamagotchi, but really, I don’t care. I want my tiger and Kinectimals is the only place to get it!
So when you break it down, the barrier for Kinect isn’t all that terrible. At least not getting punched in the face by a small child terrible, but I’ll leave that to all of you out there with kids to decide on how right or wrong I am on that one. Nevertheless, Kinect will be coming out on November 4th and have been available for pre-order just about everywhere since E3. As always, keep your ocular cavities affixed on PlanetXbox360 for pants-splittingly awesome news, reviews and features. Also, be sure to hit up our forums and let us know what you think about Kinect's $149.99 price tag (click here), otherwise we won’t know what you, the readers want and regardless of what you may have been led to believe, we are not spying on you through your Vision Cameras. However, if we were, we’d tell you to be very ashamed of yourselves. Check out the image below to see what Microsoft has to offer in terms of Kinect hardware, when it releases onto store shelves later this year.
