Most successful video games from recent memory borrow some gameplay elements from previously released, fantastic games, while adding their own touch to create a fresh experience. Every now and then a game comes along that so blatantly rips off another that the overall theft of ingenuity kills any love for the game in a New York minute. Quantum Theory is guilty of all these crimes and then some. Quantum Theory is Tecmo Koei’s attempt at appealing to the western hemisphere with a juiced-up shooter in the uncanny likeness of Gears of War. Our story begins with Marcus Phoenix Syd, a hunk of man determined to destroy phallic towers because he is so beefy and unstoppable. It’s a convoluted narrative with almost no reason or rhyme, but the gist is that this dude can topple a big building and he will damn well do it to any building bigger than his forearms. After destroying one of these installments, Syd moves onto his next, meeting Filena, a fine lady-person who is tied to the tower in some manner. Sounds like a compelling story, but it’s so poorly unraveled if unraveled at all, particularly via Syd’s beefhead narration, which ultimately makes him sound like an absolute asshole. Syd’s means of laying out the inhabitants of said towers are even less compelling than the confusing narrative.
Quantum Theory is at heat a 3rd-person shooter with a heavy emphasis on its cover mechanic. This reminds me of another game, but I just can’t put my finger on it. No biggie, right? Sadly, Quantum Theory contains some platforming elements. No, your eyes aren’t crusty from last night’s rest; Syd truly wishes he were the result of an intimate night shared between Mario and Marcus Phoenix. While shooting enemies is an easy task (most of the time), imagine trying to get this rock of a man to jump from platform to platform. Syd jumps more clumsy and robotic than Asimo and these segments pull away any hopes of enjoying the game. What’s that? You just had a semi-decent shooting shootout? That’s too bad, the next part is a platforming segment and any plummets you take will send Syd back 20 minutes due to a poorly implemented checkpoint system. Quantum Theory isn’t exactly a challenging game at any moment because of a climbing difficulty, but it becomes tough due to areas where an insta-death is entirely possible due to Syd’s inability to jump or an enemy capable of making Syd dead with one well placed attack. You’d think that Filena, a sword-wielding and sexy chick would have Syd’s back amidst all this turmoil, but it is hardly ever the case. Syd is capable of picking up the heroine and throwing her at the opposing force, but this mechanic is so poorly implemented that you’ll be lucky if she does anything.
On top of all this, Syd tries desperately to make maneuvering between cover a daunting task, which I guess is somewhat realistic due to Syd’s ridiculous stature. Almost every shootout is a repeat of the previous, with AI popping in and out of cover, or just simply running at Syd with seemingly no attack plan in mind. I think it’s fair to say I despised Quantum Theory up to this point, but deep underneath all the muck and mire, I saw what Quantum Theory could have been. The tower is constantly shifting, including cover and a variety of other pieces in latter environments. There are some interesting set pieces throughout the game that involve the ever-changing nature of the tower, including massive worms that Syd has the pleasure of riding on occasion. These components give a slight glimmer of the game could have been, if it weren’t so stealing mechanics from its many influences. Quantum Theory is not at any point an attractive game, only competing with a few games from Xbox 360’s launch titles. The audio is even more disheartening with Syd’s disturbing voice, which is constantly laughable as he goes through each line in the game. For those of you still reading this, there is a multiplayer component that is as generic as they come, with your typical Deathmatch modes. Since there is virtually no one playing this game at all, good luck enjoying the multiplayer without a bit of legwork.
Outside of these modes, I was scratching my head wondering where co-op was. You’ve got two characters, each very distinctly different than the other, but now method of running through the story with a buddy. Quantum Theory is as guilty as they come, even with its occasional bright ideas. The narrative is hard to follow with an ending that is far from rewarding. Syd’s overflowing manliness is a big turn-off, especially his cheesy dialog and lack of back-story. I strongly feel like Tecmo Koei had a good idea and then corrupted it by copying some of the great shooters of this generation. That being said, Quantum Theory is far from being the worst game I’ve ever played. There were occasionally moments where the game showed promise of becoming a bit better, but took 20 steps backwards by doing something cheap. You don’t want to play Quantum Theory ever. I can promise you that. It’s not bad enough that it becomes comedic, but not entertaining enough to be compelling. Quantum Theory can hardly be congratulated for infringing on other games, as it is hardly even capable of doing that properly. Albeit all attempts to be Gears of War, Quantum Theory is no more fun than burning $60 dollars and to be honest, burning money isn’t exactly a lucrative or entertaining hobby.
