Still want more, though? There’s Whored Mode, which, yes, is pronounced just like “horde mode”. This ridiculous set of side missions will keep you busy as well, ranging from zombie bashing to punching out mascots to driving around in a tank and blowing up crap. There’s literally no end to these missions, though they do get progressively tougher as you proceed, meaning you will die at some point. Maybe. Same goes for Survival mode. It’s as you expect, with waves of gangsters and enemies showing up and leaving you to survive any way you can see fit. They get more difficult as well, so make sure you have a homie standing by. These offer a humorous distraction from the main game. With Saints Row the Third, Volition has really bumped up the visual quality of the game. Are there blurry textures and camera issues at times? Sure. One running DDT left the camera needlessly spinning around them, distorting the view as a result. But, man, does the rest of the game look nice. Character models are hilariously goofy, whether it’s the mighty Professor Genki (an anime style character in a cat mask) and his awesome human-launching cannon, or Oleg, a big, mutated dude who’s actually naked the first time you meet him.
Most of the gangsters are standard issue, though their outfits do deter from one another, ranging from red leather get-ups (Morningstar) to cool Tron-like get-ups. The STAG soldiers look bad-ass, too. But nothing will impress more than the city of Steelport itself. You can literally run from end to end in this city and not have to experience any painful loading times. It bustles with life, with citizens walking along the streets, waiting to get mown down, and a constant barrage of vehicles, from motorcycles to garbage trucks. In fact, one of our favorite things to do in the game is to hop in a garbage truck and just go to town on traffic, exploding cars like crazy as we move to our next objective. Volition has gone all out on the engine this time around, as Saints Row the Third provides the most territory to roam that we’ve seen to date. And just wait till you go jetting through the city in a VTOL. Music is a key part to a game like this one, as it helps to listen to various stations while you’re wreaking havoc and taking back the city. Saints Row provides a plethora of great tunes to listen to, from crazy death metal to ear-popping gangster rap to a Latino station that actually didn’t get on our nerves.
The highlights, though, are the pop and classical stations. It’s funny how well you can blow stuff up while listening to Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out For a Hero”, or racing through squad car blockades while listening to a marching song. And that one dive you take out of a plane while Kanye West’s “Power” blares in the background is INSANE. Sure, the song has been overplayed, between Saints and Forza 4 ads, but here it has tremendous impact. The music’s only part of the package, though. THQ has also added some voice acting that raises the bar for the series. Like we said, there are key moments in dialogue that are laugh out loud funny, and each of your characters is a believable part of your team. Our personal favorite is Zimos, a pimp that speaks strictly in Autotune. One would think that joke would grow old over time (especially after T-Pain wore it out), but Volition makes it not only a worthwhile gimmick, but one that makes you think, “Damn, I want to hang around this guy.” The celebrities are great too. Sasha Grey is quite game as Viola DeWynter, while Hulk Hogan adds plenty of gruff as Angel. (We’d play this over Hulk Hogan’s Main Event anytime.) And when you hear Burt Reynolds explain how he’s the mayor of Steelport, it’s a gaming moment for the ages.
One more thing to note – the cheat codes in this game are ludicrous. While we can’t reveal what they are just yet (we’re sworn to secrecy, THQ even threatened us with dildo bats – yes, dildo bats), they add a generous amount of chaos to the game. Just keep in mind, though, that if you activate them, you can’t earn Achievements or save your game. Use them when you need to blow off steam. Stay tuned for the full list shortly. So that’s about it, really. While Saints Row the Third isn’t a game that’s about reinventing the wheel, it does reformat it with flashy rims and a few people under it, so we’ll definitely take it. Volition has fully released grips on this one, letting the player do literally whatever they want as they complete missions and wreak havoc in the city. The presentation is the best yet for the series, and though the lack of competitive multiplayer may be a turn off for some, the inclusion of Whored Mode, Survival waves and co-op more than makes up for its omission. This is one of the wildest gaming experiences you’ll have this year. Don’t miss out, or we’ll send THQ to your house to smack you in the face.
