Know what I ought to do one of these days? I ought to write an editorial that talks about signs that indicate when you’re playing a really bad game. You know, the little indicators that should warn you well in advance whether something’s going to absolutely suck or not. And the first place I’m going to turn when I need such a check list? Well, there’s only one stop I need to make – and that’s AMY. Well anticipated for several months now, AMY almost looked as if it was going to make a dent in the survivor horror market, and for a much more affordable price (800 Microsoft points, or $10) than what most games go for. But after trying to get through what is no doubt one of the most frustrating game experiences of the year thus far – and that’ll probably hold over through the entire year – I suddenly realize that going the cheaper route isn’t such a wise idea.
The story opens on Lana, a medical care worker who’s been assigned to look after a young girl named Amy. She apparently has something special going on with her, though it’s not really specified what. All we know is that she’s being looked after by a doctor who’s less than favorable. No, wait…this guy makes Dr. Kevorkian look normal. Anyway, Lana finds that she’s had enough and escapes from the facility with Amy in tow, only to become involved in a train wreck, with what appears to be a hellish makeover of the world happening soon after. So, she has to contend with monsters of all sorts while protecting Amy and figuring out just what this damn doctor wants to do with her. I’ll admit, Lexis Numerique do have an interesting premise here, and in the hands of a capable developer – like, say, Capcom or Konami – it could’ve really gone somewhere. But, sadly, that assignment was left to a team called Vector Cell, and right off the bat, you’ll discover just how much crap you’re gonna put up with by playing AMY.
Let’s talk about the gameplay first. It’s frustrating on every single aspect. There’s the combat, which is beyond a joke, since it runs at such a laggy pace that even the most defenseless of beasts can be a mother of a battle. But combat’s the least of your worries, as the game also packs some of the worst puzzles we’ve ever run across, forcing you to run across rooms or acquire items that are just outside of negotiable reach. We’re talking about the kind of puzzles that make a 1,000 piece jigsaw seem easy by comparison, folks. But that’s nothing compared to simple navigation itself. In most survival horror games, you’re given tools of navigation to tell you where you’re going. No such luck here, and as a result, you’ll be wandering around AMY’s hallways without any real motivation, nor indication whether you’re going the right way or not. We managed to get through a level by accident. That, folks, is lazy programming.
This featured review concludes on the next page, please click Page 2 below to read our final thoughts on AMY.
