The question of 'what came first, the chicken or the egg?' might be a thoughtful philosophical question to ponder, but in the end it only matters that there is a chicken at all. The question in games of 'what came first, the game or the concept?' is much more important to the quality of a game than the previous question is to the tastiness of a chicken. Such is the case with Eat Lead: The Return Of Matt Hazard. The game tells the tale of an aging videogame action hero cast into a new game following years of retirement after many failed attempts at different genres, including a kart racing title and a kid-friendly water pistol shooter. Hazard is understandably excited for his return to glory, but it becomes quickly apparent that someone invited him to the game for the sole purpose of killing him. Enemies from his past games begin warping into the game, and help from a sassy anonymous woman known only as 'QA' confirms the trouble Hazard is in.
Hazard blasts his way through various levels in an effort to reach comrades from the company's other franchises dangled as bait. With a handful of lengthy boss battles and levels that too often require frustrating backtracking, level design is not the game's highpoint. The story is clever and, thanks to some stellar voice work from Will Arnet and Neil Patrick Harris, delivers some genuinely hilarious moments poking fun of videogame clichés that have driven gamers nuts for years. Parodies run the gambit from Mario to Master Chief to World Of Warcraft, with well-written cut-scenes delivering the decent storyline. Unfortunately, that is where the inventiveness stops. Eat Lead is a dreadfully generic third-person shooter whose own gameplay puts it in no position to poke fun of other games. Hazard simply does not control well enough to truly enjoy the experience, running in a clunky, lumbering fashion that makes the game feel a bit sluggish. The lack of a jump or roll button is not funny as much as it is lazy. Thankfully, you spend the majority of the game dashing from piece of cover to the next.
The cover system mechanics actually work fairly well, with the ability to spin around the same item to another side if you end up flanked. Making your way through large rooms with lots of cover is simple. With the crosshairs aimed at a nearby piece of cover, a quick press of 'Y' sends Hazard darting there for safety. The system generally works well, with some minor issues when used from the middle of a current piece of cover rather than the edge. Cover is mostly destructible, with a clever evaporation effect that fits the game's setting. Even so it constantly proves to be a bit too much of a crutch through most of the game, with blind-fire headshots a bit too simple to execute. It seems odd to include several quicktime event boss battles without at least acknowledging how much gamers hate them. There is also a moment where you need to defend an NPC from an onslaught of enemies from a rooftop with an arcade cabinet's sniper rifle.
