I write about video games on a daily basis, and they're my passion in life. With that said, it's no wonder that most of my time is spent conversing about video games with my friends. It's always a potpourri of mixed opinions. Some will agree completely with my views, and then there are my other friends who are happy to agree to disagree as long as our debates are cordial. It's quite the healthy mix of conversation, and I'm grateful to have such an outlet with which to discuss the things that are most important in my life. That's one of the reasons I have chosen to blog, as well as mingle at other community sites. I value others' opinions regarding my own in gaming, and it's fun to chat. It's also a great pastime of mine to talk strategies and to game while on the phone or chatting with friends. While doing this over the years, a type of person has reared their ugly, obnoxious head: the backseat gamer.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, You suck at this game. Go left! Duck! Press X! Ugh, you SUCK!"
I'm sure that most of you are quite familiar with these individuals. No matter what you mention that you're playing at the moment, they've been there, done that, and they can tell you how to do it better - hence, where the "backseat" portion of the moniker hails. Whether you asked for their help or not, you're going to get it. Because that's why they exist. To help you not suck. It's not enough that they must act as a human F.A.Q. or game guide. No, they must also speak to you in an entirely condescending manner as if you must have no idea what you're doing with a foreign controller in your hand. Example:
Me - "I'm playing Super Anime Quest 2012."
Backseat Gamer - "How far did you get? I know you'll need help."
Me - "I only played a couple hours, so I just finished off the Rabid Fangirl in Akihabara."
Backseat Gamer - "Oh. Well then the Yaoi-Crazed Transvestite will chew you up and spit you out. You'll need my help."
No rhyme or reason! Just never-ending condescension and their firm knowledge that all areas of games for you are insurmountable, requiring help and advice from a master. Isn't that ridiculous? They also enjoy name-dropping on every possible occasion in an attempt to impress you with their vast knowledge of games. Their examples? They're really not all that rare, so they end up making themselves look, well, stupid. What's more, if they had actually paid attention to all the times you spoke to them, they would know that the game they mention is actually part of your collection.
Here's a classic example: "Yesterday I was playing Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. Oh, I'm sorry. You probably don't know what that is. Let me take twenty minutes to explain every little facet for you since you obviously have never played it and can't understand THE SCARY INTERNET to look it up."
You're right. How could I have ever possibly heard of that game? I mean, it's not like we just talked MegaTen last week. Thanks for clearing up that enormous mystery. I'm sure I would have gone insane trying to figure it out.
Asses! The lots of them are asses. The worst part of the whole ordeal is that I really do know a handful of people I speak to on a daily basis who act in this manner. They're absolutely insufferable. How about you guys? Do you find yourself faced with incredibly obnoxious backseat gamers who enjoy nothing better than SUPER-SCHOOLING you in certain games or explaining things to you like you're an infant? If so, I propose we form a coalition against these types of individuals. I can only play the nice girl card for so much longer.
