Natural character movement fits the fighting. Countless weapon and accessory combinations are merely for Bayonetta to twist around in various ways. As enemies get bigger and faster, some inundate Witch Time entirely. Bayonetta keeps up with an ever-increasing setlist of Torture and Climax Attacks that feature wonderful screams and watermelon splatter sounds, an excellent contrast to the jazz and pop soundtrack. Torture sequences are numerous and magnificent, and frequent, satisfying 15 minute multi-leveled boss fights (on land, air and sea!) end in Climax Finishers, and Bayonetta forms huge hands of hair and plays volleyball with the giant before devouring it, for example. This is the measure of her exertion; action game protagonists elicit martyrdom, and slough through muck and mile to their insurmountable goal while the user only assists. Bayonetta checklist includes: lounge on frustrated Angels, kill Angels efficiently, earn currency, yawn at boss diatribe, exude ambivalence. Bayonetta is a beautiful, unsullied sandbox with frequent additions the height of importance. Test out weapons and moves before you buy, perilous falls only eat a chunk of health, the minigame between levels—sans time limit—ensures you are never low on viddles, and the excellent loading screen allows combo practice ad infinitum.
The tension and release of battle allows time for item exploration, bonus arenas called Alfheim's and art deco landscapes seemingly influenced by both Kubrick and Fellini. Ornate statues and quaint towns fade into ash and flame. Towers crumble and create walkways momentarily frozen in time, lava fills the twisted streets, and Angels hate bridges, and demolish them with abandon. Throwaway setpieces trump gimmick games; Bayonetta nullifies WET and jeers Brutal Legend's driving. Bridges and walls are merely surroundings bad guys erupt from. During incessant surprise moments the camera does its best to follow the action, sometimes unsuccessfully. There are practically zero puzzles in Bayonetta: freezing the environment is a matter of activating Witch Time then sprinting, and keys—doubled as a weapon!—open nearby doors. You are continuously compelled towards the objective with no time for pitstops, puzzles or platforming. Bayonetta don't need stinkin' minimaps, and cutscenes in media res usually end with a fireball or fist flying towards her. Every enemy can kill her, but are courteous enough to wait.
Past the camera's bust and bottom obsession, Bayonetta is satirical and empowering. She hates children but loves making them, and is easily the most powerful character in a world of men. The Joy doppelganger YouTube sums up the game perfectly: a puff of purple smoke, hold pose, legs splayed in the enemy encyclopedia. This is funny! This is so damn fun. Bayonetta is the equivalent of a cigar chomping marine yelling, "Get some!" Bayonetta empowers women. Never the damsel in distress, she eats demons—the Dead or Alive girls are toast. Bayonetta is monument and epitome, it is history: DMC combat and tension, F-Zero velocity, Outrun melody, Sonic rings. This has the mark of SEGA all over it, and it is a marvel for Xbox owners. Bayonetta is luxury in virtual spectacle: after a twenty minute motorcycle chase and a detonated freeway she says, "I know you don't want me here, but you could be more subtle about it." Now where's the fun in that? This is one of the best action games on the Xbox 360, and it comes from the likes of Japan; go pick up a copy as soon as you can.
